The Grumpy Admin

Meet Jan.

She is by far my dumbest end-user. I wish I had documented half of the things she has done in my short time here.

Today she comes to my doorway, while I’m trying to configure a NAS box and hits me with an unanswerable question:

“Why did the office supply company ship us paper that is too long?” She stretched out the word “long” like a whiny child. I’d like to pull out her voicebox and drop it into the shredder.

She has a bad habit of asking a horribly bad question to start off explaining her IT problems.

“I have no idea, but how can I help you?”, I respond. I hate this woman with all of my being, but I have to be nice to her because she has been with the company forever and somehow she hangs pretty high on the tree.

I follow her to her desk, which is covered with piles and piles of plain white copy paper.

“It’s all too loooooooong,” she whines. “Why do they ship it all too looooong?”
I ask what the real problem is. She tells me her printer is jamming on the “long” paper. I pull out the paper tray, and am greeting with a white rainbow bulging out of the paper tray.

I explain that the 8.5 x 11 paper is just fine, look here, you need to move this paper guide back to where it started out. I move it back and the paper falls nicely into place.

“I never moved it back. How did it get moved baaaaaack?” Another question I can’t answer. I shrug my shoulders.

I’m on my way out of her office, and I can’t make up this next shit question if I tried:

“What do I do with all this paper that is too loooooong?”, she whines. I think perhaps I am on candid camera. Where the hell was she when I looked her in the face and told her the guide was too far forward? Sweet merciful crap how did this lady get to this position in this company?

“Jan, the paper is the right size. You should use it. It was the guide that was too far forward.”

I head back to my office. IDIOT.