The Grumpy Admin

What do you do if a spam email sneaks through the system?

If you are smart, you just hit delete.
If you are dumb, you reply to the spammer, which confirms that you have a working email address to spam in the future and sell to other spammers.
If you’re an ignorant f*ck, you reply to the spammer and CC: your administrator.

I haven’t had one spam email in over a year because I have been careful managing my email address.

Today an end user undid all that in a few seconds.

Last week I made some changes to the IP address plan. After the changes, I had half a dozen users down inside my newly expanded server scope. Rather than endure the headache of asking the users to do anything to help me, even reboot, I went to the six desks to release & renew.

After explaining my need to use their PC for 30 seconds, I suffered these questions during my rounds:

"Do we have to do this right now? I don't have the time for this."
"Will this erase my .PDF's?"
"Should I shut down my PC first?"
"Will this fix my weird mouse?"

Today I get a voicemail:

"Since you changed my IP address my AOL webmail stopped working. I need this fixed as soon as possible."

I ever knew AOL was so fragile.

Every once in a while, a user drops two stupid problems in my lap at once. Yesterday was one of those magical days. A "toofer."

User in my doorway: I am locked out of my office because I forgot my key. Also, I need a firewall for my cell phone because I get some messages I don't want.

TheGrumpyAdmin: I'm sorry but I'm not in charge of the locks in the office doors. You might want to try the maintenance person. As far as that firewall goes, they don't make those for cell phones.

TheGrumpyAdmin if he only had two weeks left: What the $%#@ makes you thing IT can get you into your office? Perhaps you think your lock is on the network and TCP stands for Tumbler Control Protocol. Running that Cat-5 through your door hinges was a real bitch by the way. As far as that firewall goes, I have that on order. In the meantime, you'll need to get some pants with 19 inch pockets and an assload of extension cord.

Okay, am I on some crazy reality show where you win big money for making the IT guy go crazy?

Today I created a secured server folder for a user. I haven't made up a name in a while, so let's call him Gomez.

After creating the folder, I go to his desk, and show him how to navigate to it. That's too hard, so I create a shortcut. He asks if he can do whatever he needs. I tell him he has full control.

A few minutes later, he's in my doorway.

Gomez: I can right click and create a folder. Now, once I click into that folder, how do I create a subfolder?

I just looked at him in disbelief for a good 5 seconds before answering.

I know the hidden cameras are around here somewhere.........

After helping one of our customers down in one of the southern states, I get a voicemail that says:

"The printer is now up and running like a girl who hit a home run for the 3rd time."

I guess that means it's working well.

One of the "higher ups" sees me in the hallway. He gives me an urgent look and motions me with his hand. The old "comer here quick, my world is falling apart look." No words were uttered, just hand signals. I pick up the pace, racing along the carpet with my coffee like a speed-walker on crack. On a side note, I didn't spill a drop of coffee.

I arrive in the office and ask what the urgent matter is. I'm expecting to look at a broken LCD screen, a smoking PC, or perhaps some one legged midget porn popup.

The reason I was urgently summoned, but no words were used in the hallway:

The mute speaks, "My son has a game on right now and no matter what I do I can't get the proprietary media player to download. I really need to listen to it." I didn’t even bring up our policy about unauthorized downloads and/or streaming audio.

I just opened up the webfilter and firewall and after about 10 minutes, the game is now streaming for all to hear. You can't say no if they are in an office, right?

In the shower this morning, I remembered playing Nintendo at my neighbors house when I was just a kid. Don't ask me why.

My friend's father forbid us from pausing any Nintendo game. Why you ask?

He didn't want the video game heads to wear a blank spot in the tape.

It always used to piss me off that we couldn't pause a video game because he didn't understand how it worked nor would he actually take the time to listen to us when we tried to educate him on the inner workings of a video game console.

Even back then the idiots got on my nerves.