The Grumpy Admin

Once again, I have to help the “ink cartilage” consultant. I dial her up and call my boss into the room. I look at him and whisper, “Explanation point, NOT exclamation point.” I hold my finger up, and make the “just wait until you see this” face. He makes his "WTF are you talking about now?" face. I hit the speakerphone button.

The old lady answers. I ask if now is a good time to train her on the new application. She is ready. I ask her if she remembers her password, since she has already been locked out. She says yep, it’s “love, explanation point, zero, zero, seven.” Explanation point. My boss’s eyes get wide.

I start a remote session and take control of her desktop. On a side note, give showmypc.com a try. It works really well.

I double click the VPN icon on her desktop and explain what it does. I tell her the “Fleegerhoffen Algorithm” will keep her PC safe and secure. I didn't even have time to use the jargon generator. My boss has to step out of the room to contain his laughter.

We then start up the application, which has no business running over the VPN. She asks why it is so slow. I decide to push my luck. My next statement is so over the top, I am sure to get caught. It’s so outrageous that it will never work. I press my luck anyway. My boss walks back just as I go for it.

“Well, it takes a few minutes for the Flux Capacitor to charge up the VPN in my server room,” I lie.

“OK, we’ll just have to wait then,” she says.